Steve Scott's Economic Stimulus Package

If raising the minimum wage by a very small amount, like 25 cents per hour, is good, then raising it by more is better. Why think small?

Here's my plan. Raise the minimum wage to $1 million per hour. Based on a 2080 hour work-year, every working American would become a billionaire in only six months. Enough people would then retire to make room for all the unemployed to become billionaires in as little time. Our entire country could then retire and hire the rest of the world to do everything. It might take a few years, but the whole world could be billionaires, we could all retire, and life would be perfect forever.

Just think, I could buy season tickets to all baseball teams everywhere, and go to any game I like. I could even travel to Antarctica. Write your Congressman or woman.

I'm A Six Point Calvinist

I'm a six point Calvinist. If you're theologically ignorant enough to not know what the sixth point of Calvinism is, it will obviously be a waste of my time explaining it to you.

The Proverbs 31 Woman's Husband

"She rises also while it is still night, and gives food to her household, and portions to her maidens." Proverbs 31:15

Maidens? Plural? Something to consider for those rigid literalist husbands who demand more from their wives than they are capable of doing. Have they given their wives more than one maid? Hmmm?

Warning: In Case of Rapture, This Blog Will Veer Off Course and Crash

With the rapture being the next event on the end times calendar, and Jesus' pseudo-return to earth to silently snatch His evangelical believers up into the clouds having been scheduled for each of the next Tuesdays for the last hundred years, my blogging days are numbered. I am warning my readers, therefore, that in case of rapture, this blog will no longer have a blogger behind the wheel, and it will veer off course and maybe even kill unsuspecting bystanders in cyberspace. Those left behind - or derriere a gauche - beware for your souls. To those Jews who are left behind, evangelicals - who really, really, really love you - urge you to move to Jerusalem. Where, for some reason, God will love you too, and make sure that the Anti-Christ will kill all of you. Only 144,000 of you will escape an eternity in hell, but move there anyway. Whew, I'm sure glad I'll be outta here and won't have to endure any of this. Which shows just how important it is to call the 800 number on channel 65. Note to those who find my house empty: if the rapture happens while I'm shaving and you find my razor buzzing in the sink, it won't electrocute you because it's only battery operated.

Falwell Death A Hoax

The liberal news media have been reporting all day that the Rev. Jerry Falwell has died. Since you can't believe anything the liberal media says, the only conclusion is that his death is a hoax. Fabricated, no doubt, by liberals, gays and feminists.

But seriously, this shows us the value of Jesus' instructions in the sermon on the mount about judging others (not that we shouldn't) because the way in which we judge others will be meted out against us in return. I did a Google blog search and it's simply amazing the number of Falwell's quotes that are being used against him, rightly or wrongly. Especially those quotes that have to do with God's judgment.

The Most Reformed of All

Different Protestant denominations have had varying degrees of departure from the theology and practice of the medieval Roman Catholic church toward "pure Christianity," which would be a completed Reformation. I'd like to look at various denominations to show how far they've turned from Rome (in ascending order), and will give their progress in percentages.

First, the Roman Catholic church. They're still unreformed so the progress looks like this:

Roman Catholic score: 100% Catholic - 0% Christian.

Next, Anglican and Episcopalian. These folks recognized the Reformation to some degree, but still retained quite a few Roman distinctives like infant baptism, priestly robes, liturgy and church hierarchy. The only difference between these two churches is English accent vs. American accent.

Anglican and Episcopalian score: 75% Catholic - 25% Christian

Next, Lutheran. Some of the same as Anglicans and Episcopalian, but they've come a bit further, especially in pseudo-Reformed theology.

Lutheran score: 50% Catholic - 50% Christian

Next, Presbyterian. They've done away with the half-baked Catholic views of Lutheranism on communion, but still sprinkle babies, and sometimes wear robes and have stained glass.

Presbyterian score: 26% Catholic - 74% Christian

Next, Christian Reformed. They basically hold the same thing as Presbyterianism, but just slightly lighter on the church hierarchy.

Christian Reformed score: 25% Catholic - 75% Christian

Last, Baptist. These folks have shed every thread of Catholicism. No baby baptism, no preachers wearing robes, no stained glass, no bread turning into Jesus just because a priest says so, no demon alcohol, no church hierarchy whatsoever. Just me, Jesus and my bible. And my quiet time. The greatest deviation from Rome there is.

Baptist score: 0% Catholic - 100% Republican

Thus we have a complete picture of church life in America today. PTL and you betcha.

Post-Modern Christmas Gifts

All the great stuff our culture has brought us in the last ten years, "extreme" anything, "reality" TV shows, etc, are all very interesting. In light of this, here's a list of what I think would make good Christmas presents.

• Extreme Anatomy Barbie
• On DVD: "Winnie The Pooh Goes to Vegas"
• Desperate Housewives Action Figures
• Survivor, Berkeley - Home Version

Merry Christmas!

Godzilla Brought Down The Twin Towers on 9-11

It might just be a coincidence. My oldest son has taken to like Godzilla movies, so we watched a new one (for us) tonight. Godzilla brought a number of buildings down in downtown Tokyo. The movie ended just before CBS's 9-11 documentary started, which showed the twin towers, plus tower 7, collapse.

For some reason I just can't believe that buildings fall like that without planned assistance. Especially after just an hour of fire from jet fuel (kerosene) that doesn't burn hot enough to melt steel. And buildings that aren't even hit, like building 7, don't just collapse on themselves from the bottom up.

Wacky conspiracy theories aside, the only plausible explanation is that Godzilla did it and that he's now invisible.