Saturday, February 24, 2007

Confessions of A Closet Blogger (Part 1)

I've been blogging for nearly two years now. Anybody with access to the web has access to my blog sites. But there's a sense in which I'm a closet blogger. From The Pew is essentially about theology, but I haven't told many of my friends about it. My pastor doesn't know, nor does more than three people in my church of about 500. My wife is a regular reader, and my two best friends at church occasionally drop in, and a few former members. My dad is aware, but isn't a regular. Outside of that, several I know also look at my baseball blog.

I think the reason is that the basic premise of my blog is that I'm questioning the status quo of religion - and the circles of which I'm most familiar are my own. For some reason there's a fear I have of making waves, but also there's an excitement about it. I've struggled with letting my pastor know, for example, because quite frankly much of what I write might be at odds with my own church's beliefs. My theology has developed in part apart from my church's formal means. But then my pastor knows I'm not a yes man because I've had many, many discussions with him about doctrines and church policies that I've either questioned or rejected. He has yet to start formal discipline against me because he is generally a graceful man who sees my wranglings with things that aren't really essentials to the faith. My wife and my two friends are people who have no problem with me questioning long-held beliefs; they are that way too.

I know there are the doctrinal purists and authoritarians and behavioral overlords who would have a coronary at knowing somebody like me was blogging about the things that I do. I would be interpreted as a heretic and as somebody who was divisive and schismatic. So much for them. I'm torn between letting somebody know in a casual conversation about my blog, or keeping it my business only. Should I be afraid, or no?


  1. For goodness sake, blog away.

    You might get kicked out of the church. I might get kicked out of the church. Some things I am about to say on my blog are going to be very contreversial but if I don't say them I am quenching what spiritual gifting I have.

    If it gets me ejected I'll survive.

    So will you.

    And, if the truth were known, many many people have the kinds of doubts and questions which need to be asked that you ask so well.

    So, rave on.

    I will. I need the company.

  2. I blog because it is cheaper than therapy. :) I have a need to write.........always have. Prior to blogs I sponsored a mailing list. I had a BBS. I wrote for the local newspaper (s)

    Writing in general, blogging in particular, allows me to work out the issues of life. I write honestly and at times I am sure I write like a nut case. As they say in Boston, It's just Manny being Manny, my blog is Bruce being Bruce. 600-1000 people a day read my blog and I don't have a clue why.

    I go through times of panic when I read back over what I have written. I think to myself "if a pulpit committee ever read my blog they would run from me as fast as they could/" Other times I get depressed and think, Why blog? I don't have anything of value to write." I get the urge to just cancel my blog account and go back to my cave where I belong..

    Steve. follow Gene's good advice. Write openly and honestly. We need a lot more interaction and honesty in the Church.If the the Church can't handle contrarians that love Jesus,,,,,,the Church suffers as a result. We NEED challenge and correction. I think of some of the BS I fed people from the one uttered a word. Fear? Respect? I don't know.