Church Terminology and Definitions

Here are some common Christian terms and their definitions:

• Denominational:  The showing of unity in dividing from others.
• Non-denominational:  (1) Being so opposed to denominational division that one is willing to divide from all other churches over the issue (2) A handy misleading label that can be used when being so denominational that there are no other churches that agree with you (3) A denomination consisting of only one church
• Narthex:  Something everybody knows what it is but can't give a definition for
• Fellowship Hall:  Room where cookies and punch are served
• Sermon Length:  (historical) The length in time of one side of a blank cassette tape
• Pot Luck:  A large meal shared by Arminians where each participant brings a dish, the contents being unknown to others until the time of the meal
• Pot Providence:  A large meal shared by Calvinists where each participant brings a dish, the contents being unknown to others until the time of the meal
• Benediction:  Lunch time
• Bible Belt:  The area of the US where people are most likely to carry a bible and demand that the rest of society obey it while simultaneously least likely to follow what is written therein
• Supralapsarianism:  Us
• Infralapsarianism:  Them
• Pew:  Medieval torture device from which Steve Scott writes