Fresh off the fun with linking to Dan Allen's The Christian Cuss Word Flowchart a few days ago, I'm piggybacking here with another concept. Dan's post pulled the trigger, but what loaded the gun was a comedy clip I heard not long ago on a radio station. You know, those "five o'clock funnies" kind of deals. The comedian was talking about how we use substitute words to half-cuss. You know, like using "freaking" or "friggin'" when we really could use the other word. He added a few religious half-cuss words to spice up the routine, like when people use "Jeez" for Jesus, "Gosh" for God, and the like. "Jeez Louise" would mean a half-invocation of Mother Mary of course.
This got me to a thinkin'. Our culture uses several more half-cussin' religious words, like "darn" and "heck." Then it came together. I found that if I strung some of those half-cuss words together, I could create a half-cussin' theology. I was looking for the right context to air this, and Dan's post was it. The half-cusser has his own theology. And when these words are strung together, albeit humorous for me, it really does seem to capture the weak theology of mainstream American evangelicalism. So without further delay, I present to you the freaking theology of the half-cussin' man:
Unless you believe in Jeez, the Son of Gosh, you'll be darned to heck. - Hezekiah 3:16